Wellness

This blog update one of the more challenging for me to do; I’ve suffered with writer’s block for nearly two weeks trying to find the words to put on paper all that I’ve gained from working with Miramont’s Wellness Coach Kim Crady.

Like generations of women in my family before me, I am a competitive woman. If you tell me I can’t do something, I’ll not only be successful in the endeavor, but I’ll do it better than anticipated. Over time this has been both my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. I became very adept at being the proverbial ‘hamster on the wheel’.

As a student of Horticulture and then Landscape Architecture at Washington State University, I learned that you worked as hard and as long as was needed to finish a project, that deadlines were carved in stone and failure was not an option.

Before I had children I grew used to working long and focused hours putting into practice the lesson’s I’d learned in school. It wasn’t unusual for myself or other members of the office to work 60 or more hours a week. After children came along I was more attentive to the hours spent at the office, but that only meant that the job changed, not the amount of time I spent working. I was and am very good at being a hamster… running, always running.

As the children have grown, I’ve become more efficient at hamstering. Work, volunteering, kids activities, ToDo lists, and schedules were (and still are) followed with fluidity. If someone somewhere needed my talents or if I had an interest in an activity where I could help, it became part of my ToDo list and schedule. Over the last 15 years I’ve juggled more activities than time allows - stress was and will always be a constant, and without regular updates to my planner, I and everyone in the family are lost.

People are regularly impressed with how colorful my daily planner is and how busy I am on a regular basis. I’m frequently asked if I can help them learn how to manage their time and be so organized. Their comments are testimony of how I’ve mastered the hamster’s wheel.

But there is a problem with that.

I’m not a hamster.

I’ve grown so used to doing the next thing and meeting deadlines that I’d lost sight of those around me. Those who love me, who miss me, and who are growing and moving in their own directions. It was with Kim’s guidance that I became aware of that.

She helped me apply the brakes to my wheel. Together we’ve questioned and discovered why I am so driven, why I don’t take enough time for myself, and why I don’t say ‘no’ to requests or ridiculous schedules. She’s helped me rediscover quiet moments in my day and celebrate lost passions. Writing is one of them as is the importance of setting aside time for solitude or to create.

Kim is not a psychologist; she is a wellness coach and she will tell you that the first time you meet her. As a team we have meaningful and often difficult conversations. She’s not afraid to ask thoughtful questions or point out overlooked but often profound observations.

When asked a difficult question, or one that you aren’t able to answer, the natural reaction is to avoid the question by responding with a smattering of justifications for choices made or responses to situations. Kim has a unique ability to identify when this is happening, and she will gently ask alternative yet meaningful questions to help you discover the answer that you are struggling to find.

She does not council you, she does not judge. Nor does she do the hard work for you. What she does is help you realize why you might be struggling to attain your goals; be it because your goals are not truly your own, or, like me, you are asking too much of yourself.

Having worked with Kim for the last several months, both Karl and I recognize and highly value the intangible nature of wellness coaching. The tools that I’ve learned in my sessions with her give me the power to continue making the positive changes that benefit not only myself, but also my entire family.

The words ‘Thank You’ don’t encapsulate how grateful I am for having met and been able to work with Kim. But it's a good place to start.

Thank you Kim.

One

It was only a few weeks after the start of P2 that I broke down in tears for the first time and nearly walked away from the entire project.

I wasn't comfortable in my body, my mind was broken in trying to figure out how to fit everything into an insane schedule and the internal pressure to show myself and everyone else that as a team we could 'Win This!' was crippling. I'd been given this truly awesome opportunity, and I wanted to show everyone how thankful I was through my impressive results.

But I was in such bad physical shape that my 'orders' of doing a 500 calorie workout and a circuit of weights at each session in the gym meant that I was working out for nearly two hours at a time.

my 'go to' for the tough moments...

A whirlwind of paperwork and meetings with the magazine staff, a photographer, our trainer, my doctor our nutritionist and our wellness coach in the span of two weeks left our heads spinning. Each 'coach' had questionnaires requiring lots of thoughtful introspection and there were so many questions that I could not answer or the answer was too 'big' to put into words were common.

Karl started this journey several months before on his own with only the support of our little family and his trainer Matt. There was no fanfare of doing it for a publication or with a team. He had already experienced this rocky transition and was able to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. (To which I jokingly said that I hoped it wasn't a train coming to flatten my ass.)

It was near the end of the fourth week of P2 that the long hours at the gym began to pay off. I didn't hurt as much, I was able to move a bit faster for longer spans, and the amount of time I spent at the gym began to shorten.

A book I'd been reading during this time (that I can't for the life of me remember the name of) had a passage that resonated with me - so much so that I wrote it down from memory a couple of days later on a scratch of paper and carried it about during P2 for those times that everything seemed too big. Even today when I begin to pile unrealistic expectations onto myself I reflect on it. In my own more generalized words the message was something like this:

Don't overdo it. Don't go on the path that is too drastic. Don't feel so overworked and deprived that you end up putting yourself into a worse place than when you started. But do make a change for the better, do the best you can and have no regrets.

P2 was a lot of work. I broke through many barriers, I walked, climbed and pedaled hundreds of miles, shed thousands of tears, and strung together so many poorly written words that I could publish a volume or two of bad prose.

But I'm proud of each and every moment - even my darkest ones where I was a PITA and snapped at my little family. I own my progress. I was given an incredible opportunity, and while I may not have hit each and every goal that I set for myself - but as our wellness coach says, 'Pretty good is pretty f'n good!' (And upon reflection, I  honestly DID reach all of the goals I set with our initial application).

It all began with one word, one goal, one step, one set, one squat, one blog post, and one magazine article. Our success is built upon each one of those moments.

I would do it all over again if given the opportunity.

Looking forward to 2015, I have joined the gym that provided us with the membership for this project, and I took advantage of the holiday special to purchase a series of sessions with our trainer. As with P2, the sessions are only 30 minutes in length, but that is a benefit - it forces me to do the hard work on my own, to make me take ownership of my health and fitness.

I've regained so much in the past 6 months, and I've a lot more work to do - but I'm in it. The money, the time and the effort are all worth it if I'm able to participate in family activities that I've avoided these last several years not because I didn't want to do it (as I'd often say) but because I wasn't able to.

I'm not a 'health nut', and I hope not to become one. On occasion I give into cravings. I still eat movie house popcorn and drink Diet Cokes when we venture out to the cinema on special occasions, and I don't make it to the gym everyday -  but if I can make one more healthy choice in the maze of organized chaos that is our life, then it's been a good day.

And good days are fine by me.