Saturday, June 4, 2016

Saddle Sore

Well, it was a fun run.

After 4 1/2 years of non-stop work and doing everything that was asked of me and more - even when the amount of work that landed on my plate was far more than any one person can or should be responsible for, it's time for a new chapter in this adventure called 'life'.

A number of students that used our service have graduated, so if the meeting had gone the way of ‘We just don’t have enough work, we are sorry we can’t renew your contract.’ that would have been plausible and an appropriate way of letting me go. While that would have been the kind way of letting me go, it wouldn't have been true.

It didn’t go down that way. Instead Supe went for the personal, using mischaracterizations and skewed situations as an explanation for the decision. As I wrote in Chhhcchhchhhanges this semester has been a rough one.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been this exhausted; Mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. I have been worn down to nothingness.”

I wrote those words two days after our meeting, when Supe notified me that my contract for the fall would not be renewed.

After more than a week of recovering from such a long and stressful work environment, I’m waking to the fact that the actual job, the people that I worked with on a daily basis and the team the evolved over these last few year - it was amazing, it was more than I could have ever dreamed of, and it had so little to do with the ‘chain of command’.

That chain of command though, I am relieved to be out from under it. I could delve into all of the critiques, the complaints, the wrongs that I’ve seen and experienced, and the questionable behavior of a couple of people that taints the environment for everyone else who wants to be there, doing the hard but rewarding work of providing accommodations, help, and acknowledgement for people with disabilities.

I have heard that one such individual has been, from the time I started working for them, talking poorly and sharing (untrue) stories about me when I wasn’t in the room. It is my hope that those I worked with, those that slogged through the trenches with me know a tale when it’s being spun versus the truth when they hear it.

Those that don’t… well, I’m concerned about them. They are the ones that I worked hard to protect. It is a fact that anyone who works under this person is subject to similar vitriol. The more likely that are to have heard negative or even participated in such conversations, the more likely they are to have similar words said about them. One person in particular, who has been there nearly as long as I was, is completely unaware of all the hate that spewed about them and I wish her luck.

I loved my job, and I explored it to the fringes with everything that I had. Were I given the opportunity to continue on, anything else would have been fine-tuning.

I leave that behind, and now that I’ve shaken off the stress and the disillusionment, I’m moving on to new and brighter things. I’m excited and have a clarity that has been missing for a long time.

I have hope. 





Thursday, May 19, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0519



Pick battles big enough to matter,
small enough to win.


Lucky Numbers
34,  35,  31,  53,  21,  25





Wednesday, May 18, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0518



Instead of giving someone a piece
of your mind, give someone 
the peace of your mind.


Lucky Numbers
35,  22,  48,  34,  42,  46





Tuesday, May 17, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0517



No snowflake in an avalanche
ever feels responsible.


Lucky Numbers
52,  13,  11,  28,  41,  25





Monday, May 16, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0516



Perhaps you've been focusing too
much on that one thing.


Lucky Numbers
17,  54,  38,  14,  1,  48





Sunday, May 15, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0515



It doesn't take much to
be a success.


Lucky Numbers
52,  13,  11,  28,  41,  25





Saturday, May 14, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0514



Our deeds determine us,
as much as we determine 
our deeds.


Lucky Numbers
41,  25,  27,  52,  11,  24





Friday, May 13, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0513



Patience is the best remedy
for every trouble.


Lucky Numbers
12,  24,  31,  10,  47,  15





Thursday, May 12, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0512



Be on the lookout for coming events;
They cast their shadows beforehand!


Lucky Numbers
28,  14,  35,  32,  49,  9






Wednesday, May 11, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0511



42.7 percent of all statistics are
made up on the spot.


Lucky Numbers
39,  37,  4,  48,  41,  47





Tuesday, May 10, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0510



Calamity is the touchstone of a 
brave mind.


Lucky Numbers
4,  43,  3,  32,  37,  6





Monday, May 9, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0509



It's always better to light a candle
than to curse the darkness.


Lucky Numbers
36,  48,  6,  39,  43,  13





Sunday, May 8, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0508



Exchanging compliments is
intellectual back scratching.


Lucky Numbers
14,  21,  16,  42,  32,  11






Saturday, May 7, 2016

Friday, May 6, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0506



Persistence and determination
alone are omnipotent.


Lucky Numbers
32,  33,  36,  5,  55,  10






Thursday, May 5, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0505



Instead of worrying and agonizing,
move ahead constructively.


Lucky Numbers
38,  16,  44,  54,  48,  41





Wednesday, May 4, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0504



Opportunity always knocks at the
least opportune moment.


Lucky Numbers
16,  5,  13,  7,  36,  28





Tuesday, May 3, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0503



New and rewarding opportunities
will soon develop for you.


Lucky Numbers
17,  19,  4,  50,  18,  27






Monday, May 2, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0502



Organize your life around your 
dreams -- and watch them come true.


Lucky Numbers
15,  3,  42,  22,  14,  25






Sunday, May 1, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0501



Peace begins with a smile.


Lucky Numbers
25,  19,  55,  26,  27,  29






Saturday, April 30, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0430



On attachment: The tighter
you squeeze, the less you have.


Lucky Numbers
36,  35,  31,  55,  23,  4






Friday, April 29, 2016

Thursday, April 28, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0428



Keep it simple.  The more you say,
the less people remember.


Lucky Numbers
4,  54,  39,  52,  51,  56






Wednesday, April 27, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0427



Optimists believe we live in the 
best of worlds and pessimists fear 
this is true.


Lucky Numbers
27,  35,  31,  23,  24,  51






Tuesday, April 26, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0426



One dreamed of becoming somebody
Another remained awake and became.


Lucky Numbers
18,  27,  29,  31,  42,  6






Monday, April 25, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0425



Killing time murders
opportunities.


Lucky Numbers
55,  15,  52,  10,  51,  38





Thursday, March 31, 2016

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0330



You have an ambitious nature
and may make a name for
yourself


Lucky Numbers
50,  16,  55,  26,  42,  27





Tuesday, March 29, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0329



Failure is the Mother of Success


Lucky Numbers
16,  54,  29,  30,  8,  40





Monday, March 28, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0328



Follow the middle path. Neither
extremes will make you happy.


Lucky Numbers
55,  39,  24,  45,  14,  28






Sunday, March 27, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0327



Happiness is enjoying what you
got. Never from what you want.


Lucky Numbers
26,  19,  24,  27,  9,  30





Saturday, March 26, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0326



You are only as old as you act.


Lucky Numbers
10,  44,  6,  21,  8,  40





Friday, March 25, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0325



If you refuse to accept anything 
but the best, you very often get it.


Lucky Numbers
23,  16,  11,  17,  13,  6





Thursday, March 24, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0324



You always have the right
answers; they just sometimes ask
the wrong questions.


Lucky Numbers
7,  53,  15,  16,  38,  47






Wednesday, March 23, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0323



You will experience small 
success, especially in romance.


Lucky Numbers
12,  19,  38,  39,  10,  25





Tuesday, March 22, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0322



Four basic premises of writing:
clarity, brevity, simplicity, and humanity.


Lucky Numbers
51,  8,  17,  2,  35,  1






Monday, March 21, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0321



You are sociable and entertaining.


Lucky Numbers
34,  56,  53,  37,  41,  26






Sunday, March 20, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0320



Grand adventures await those
who are willing to turn the corner.


Lucky Numbers
9,  41,  17,  37,  54,  46






Saturday, March 19, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0319



You are very grateful for the
small pleasures in life.


Lucky Numbers
9,  47,  14,  45,  38,  15





Friday, March 18, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0318



Writing is a craft not an art.


Lucky Numbers
51,  18,  33,  27,  11,  36





Thursday, March 17, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0317



Genius is nothing but a great
aptitude for patience.


Lucky Numbers
38,  39,  19,  33,  55,  28






Wednesday, March 16, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0316



Your desire to protect the people
around you is appropriate.


Lucky Numbers
34,  10,  17,  8,  22,  3





Tuesday, March 15, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0315



Be Patient! The Great Wall didn't
got build in one day.


Lucky Numbers
29,  48,  13,  44,  10,  17





Monday, March 14, 2016

All that it holds

These last two weeks have been a whirlwind - so much so that I’m just now realizing that neither child has school this week and I don’t have to go to work.  (Yes, I am still working as an ICT - I'm no longer mentoring or managing the team.)

Why? Because it’s spring break.

And somehow I missed that.

It all began as a fluke ‘Cool! I'm going to go for it.’ (Wait, isn’t that similar to how Project Purpose started?)

That was followed by a stream of emails, a flurry of meetings, lots of learning and then, disbelief with a lot of pinching myself.

I’m not entirely sure of what I was expecting, but with each passing day I have grown more more excited, and nervous.

After the change in my responsibilities at work left me lagging and looking for a creative outlet, but before my last post, Charles sent forwarded me a Reddit entry in which the owner of a local blogging network mentioned that they were looking for a writer.

So, I tossed my hat into the ring, put together a portfolio, cleaned up my resume and hit the ‘send’ button. And then I waited.

And, waited.
And, played with my plants.
And, waited.
And, watched TV with the kids.
And, waited some more.
And then.

My interview went well, and in the end, even with the competition that was more experienced, more familiar with the overarching subject of the blog, I got the gig.

Yes friends.
I - got - the - Gig.

SQUEEE!!!

I can now add ‘professional blogger’ to my list of occupations. The opportunity to write on a regular basis is daunting, and welcomed. Trying to write on my own, without any sort of deadline is a challenge when it feels like so many other things are demanding of my attention. Now, I have that deadline.

The blog is Farming Fort Collins and it's part of the Scoop Network, and I am excited that the ideas I’ve proposed have been enthusiastically welcomed.

My first post goes live on Wednesday. So, between now and then I need to do some serious planning, put a lot of words on ‘paper’ and hope that some of it works.

I’m indescribably excited and nervous too. And not to worry - Tales from the House of Chaos is not going anywhere.

Fingers crossed for this new opportunity and I hope to see you on the interwebs.







#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0314



Be patient, pleasant and open and
you will see more truths.


Lucky Numbers
28,  42,  7,  55,  14,  22





Sunday, March 13, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0313



A new environment makes all the
difference in the world.


Lucky Numbers
36,  24,  19,  17,  25,  33




Saturday, March 12, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0312



A day without smiling is
a day wasted.


Lucky Numbers
14,  56,  53,  29,  48,  10





Friday, March 11, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0311



If you don't do it excellently,
don't do it at all.


Lucky Numbers
14,  37,  17,  23,  3,  56






Thursday, March 10, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0310



Happiness isn't an outside job, 
it's an inside job.


Lucky Numbers
35,  25,  27,  45,  43,  53





Wednesday, March 9, 2016

#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0309



Go for it. You never know
what happen next.


Lucky Numbers
22,  10, 53,  16,  51,  25





Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Chhhcchhchhhanges

If the first two months of 2016 are any indication, this year is going to be one helluva wild ride friends.

After working as the Lead ICT for several years and experiencing exponential growth each semester both in terms of clients needing service and new employees, it all became too much. One person cannot schedule, manage and mentor 17 other people at various levels of experience AND cover a full load of work.

After several long conversations and budget reviews, it was decided that a reorganization of the team was needed and in a flash, my creative outlet disappeared. I'm still finding fulfillment in covering classes and providing transcripts to my students, but it's the unpredictable nature of the Lead that I miss.

I've not known what to do with myself.

Gone is the chaos and challenges in which I thrive.

Gone is the position of teacher and mentor.

Gone is the fulfillment of seeing someone experience the joy of helping a student explore all that they are able to do once the necessary tools and services are in place.

Gone is the joy in holding together a group of people from all different walks of life, and truly enjoying each other's company and shared stories.

Gone is any sense of value in the work I've done.

Gone is so much that is intangible, and so much that has become my identity.

Gone in so many ways.

In the days after the team restructuring I grew desolate and restless, drifting from one project to another and not recalling the reason behind what inspired the project in the beginning.

Time has eased the sorrow, but now I need to find a new direction in which to focus my creative energies.

I'm looking forward to seeing what the spring has to offer.

It has to be better.






#DailyFortuneCookie 16-0308



Follow the middle path. Neither
extreme will make you happy.


Lucky Numbers
55,  39,  24,  45,  14,  28