PB & J

Growing pains have again hit JB hard. She's grown through two sizes of clothing over the last couple of months, and her knees do ache, a pain I am all too familiar with from my childhood, and I've showered her with sympathy for it.

But more notable than that is the growing pains that have left us all with bumps and bruises as she navigates the social pitfalls of first grade and discovers who she is and wants to be.

And not every moment has been pretty. Some have been awkward, others ugly and even sticky. Peanut butter sticky.

While prepping for a quick dinner before Team Olson broke for the evenings activities, I discovered that JB had not eaten the PB&J that she passionately requested for lunch that day (school had not yet gotten out). When asked why she didn't eat it, she said she 'wasn't in the mood for it' at lunch and went off to watch tv.

As everyone sat down to dinner, she plopped into her chair, looked at her sandwich and screamed "I AM NOT EATING THAT!"

"Whats up JB?" asked BW.

"I. AM. NOT. EATING. THAT. SANDWICH. I didn't want it at lunch and I'm not going to eat it now."

"JB," I said "You requested that sandwich, I'm sorry that you aren't in the mood for it, but we don't waste food. Now, please eat so that we can get to dance on time. Thank you."

She looked at me and replied acidly "I am NOT going to eat THAT sandwich." She then picked it up, and squished and wrangled it until it looked like an unidentifiable blob of brown and red stickey goo.

It was on.

"JB. I'm sorry you chose to do that to your sandwich. Poor thing. I don't believe that it wanted to be treated that way. That being said, it is still your dinner. We need to leave for dance in a short while, so please eat and then you can change and we can head out. We don't want to be late, alright?"

She looked at her sandwich, grabbed a knife and in stabbing the table, repeated that she was not going to eat her sandwich.

Charles told her to leave the table alone, that it had done nothing to her and that she needed to sit down and eat dinner, or go to her room.

BW silently sat back and ate every bite of his dinner intently, eyes wide open and wondering what was going to happen next since this was such very very odd behavior from the normally 'chill' JB.

"Fine!" she said as she held her fists tight to her legs and stomped off to her room.

"Well. That was interesting! Is she gonna get it now?" exclaimed BW in an oddly quiet voice.

"BW, don't be rude. We've accomodated your growing pains, that's what we need to do with JB right now. Obviously she's had a tough day and ... "

and we were interrupted by JB slamming her bedroom door as she screamed "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU MOTHER! I HATE ALL OF YOU!"

"OOOooohhhhhhh! She's gonna get it now! Wow! Mama! did you hear what she said!?"

"Yes BW, I heard it."

"I think the whole neighborhood heard it" sighed Charles as he finished his dinner and set his fork down.

After a few moments of quiet chatter, JB came into the dinning nook and sidling up to me said that she loved me, and that she was so very sorry.

"JB, I love you too, darling.

"How about if you have a seat, finish your dinner and we can head off to dance. We have to leave in 15 minutes so time is running out."

Coldly, she dropped her arms and stepped away.

"You are trying to kill me aren't you? You want me to starve to death. I am going to starve to death and it's all your fault. You know that!? When I die because you didn't feed me dinner, it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!"

She then began to writhe on the floor crying and yowling that we were trying to kill her, to starve her, that we hated her and we were enjoying her slow, painful death! "Of Starvation!"

It was with the final 'Of Starvation!' that Charles lost it and started laughing. Once he started, BW couldn't resist and he quickly followed, and finally the laughter rose from my belly.

To this she stood up. Looked at each one of us and coldly, furiously stated through tight lips "I HATE ALL OF YOU. AND YOU JUST LAUGHED WHEN I DIED OF STARVATION!" and once again stomped up to her room.

"Don't forget to change into your dance outfit!" I called up "We have to leave in 5!"

At this point, BW was sitting on the couch, thumbing through a magazine before he and Charles had to head off to scouts.

"I spent an entire day with only lunch once and I survived... "

True that BW... but we nearly didn't.

To her credit, JB was in the car, dressed and ready, relaxed and telling jokes in five minutes time. And her dance session was a blast and we had a great time chatting on our way to and from it.

Even today, weeks after 'the sandwich' incident we laugh about it... Especially her. She brings it up by asking "Do you remember that night I was crazy!? Because of a SANDWICH!? What was THAT about?"

But she was right. She didn't eat that sandwich for dinner.

Grateful for Gold

After spending four days 'on the road' with our first roadtrip to South Dakota, I am so very thankful for the Feigngold Diet.

After I'd first heard of it from an amazing friend and we started implementing the diet, we started noticing changes. Good changes. Gone was the fidgeting, the flapping 'wings' the fast paced unrelenting chatter and the dark gloomy anger or manic laughter that accompanied our dinners and evening homework sessions.

He is in control of himself, his emotions and actions. And he is so pleasant to be with. We've had actual conversations in which everyone has an active role in the discussion.

To date, our biggest frustration is that BW is so picky over the tastes and textures that he will eat. Foods that he has at Grace's house and enjoys with abandon are rejected at home because 'they taste funny.'

At one point this spring during a week of frustration and uneaten foods I asked Charles at the end of a long weekend if following the diet was worth the extra effort and expense. It seemed appropriate since he was the one who was hesitant to start the diet, skeptical that changing the foods he ate could really be that effective.

Without missing a beat, he replied "Yes, yes it is worth every single extra penny, every single extra minute of preparation and every single missed step with the foods that are offered. Going back (to the old way of eating) is not even an option."

For me though, it wasn't so obvious. Not until our Roadtrip.

After four days on the road, in an area of the country where 'Whole Paycheck' and other non-artificial foods don't exist, we had to fall into our old diet... our typical American diet. By day two BW was 'high as a kite' on artificial colors, flavors, preservatives and High Fructose Corn Syrup and it was astounding the difference in the little guy.

The amount of patience that was required by JB, Charles and I was impressive as we accommodated his emotional and jittery state.

It's been nine days since our return, and it took seven days without 'the artificials' before we started to see BW's reliably calm demeanor.

When we ask him how he feels, his reply is that his skin isn't itchy on the inside anymore. But he still misses all the really cool and fun foods that he used to be able to eat.

We do too little guy. We do too. But going 'back' isn't an option. We love you too much and we love the sanity that we have now.

Bicker Chips

I have to credit the readings that I've been pouring over for this summer's Child Life Specialist class for the idea, or at least the hint of the concept.

Or perhaps it was JB blowing into the master bedroom in a flurry of rage, frustration and tears with yet another story of how BW was bugging her  just minutes before we were to head out onto our first family road trip that spurred the need for something easy, quick and effective.

The prospect of seven hours on the road with two bickering minions 'sharing' the backseat was enough to make me want to send them on their way and enjoy the quiet of the house.

And then the idea came to me, and shockingly it worked.

'Bicker Chips'

We raided the game 'Connect Four' for the chips and before we piled into the car I explained the rules.

1. Each MinYon starts the day with four 'chips'.

2. Whenever they want to share a 'bicker' story with mama or daddy they must first give up a 'bicker chip'.

3. When the 'bicker chips' are gone, they cannot approach mama or daddy with their complaints until the next day, unless it's a '911' situation or involves blood, bones, barf or brains.

4. No saving 'bicker chips'. Each person starts with four and may have no more than four chips at any one time.

5. No borrowing. If you don't have your 'bicker chips' with you, you cannot share your story.

6. If you lose a bicker chip because you didn't take care of it, it's gone, and it/they will not be replaced. Not even the next day.

Shockingly, it worked. Each child gave up one chip on the first day of our trip, and from that point on they guarded them - just in case something 'big' came along and they needed to express themselves.

Each one of them would begin to complain about the other, we'd ask them if they wanted to give up a 'bicker chip', and they'd stop, look at us... ponder for a moment, say no and go on their way.

Charles and I were and are genuinely surprised that it worked for our trip, and continues to work even now that we've returned home.

Each day, the bicker chips have been handed out, and each day the little pile of them remains on the counter - seemingly forgotten and no longer needed. JB and BW have become much better at working out their issues between themselves, and our summer has become much more pleasant.

I'm hoping the novelty doesn't wear off before school starts up again...

Tornados

It makes sense I suppose... BW was talking with JB about the Tornado Battler which is some sort of Bey Blade *thing*.

I heard Tornado Babbler, and thought it most appropriate as I've been trying to watch a 60 minute show for the last 85 minutes and am STILL not done.

Freaking Cold

"MAMA!"

"Yah BW?"

"Where is my PSP Charger!?"

"In my room, I'm still putting stuff away from our trip."

"Why Mama? It's not like JB uses hers. Why do you have MINE?! Can't you keep hers in your room? I'm not kidding. It is so freaking cold in your room! What's the deal?!"

Wandering down to the master bedroom he walks in and can be heard...

"Honestly, it's so freaking cold in here, how do you even sleep at night!?"

Returning to the hallway, which looks onto the living area he continues... "Seriously Mama! JB doesn't use her charger. I am not about to spend time in your room charging my PSP since it is so flipping cold! I'm just so freaking disappointed..."

"What's the problem, bub?" Asked JB from the kitchen.

"Mama stole the charger for my PSP and has it in her room - and it's so freaking cold in there...How can I possibly spend ANY time in there? I'll freeze to death!"

"Bub. Just chill. We just got back from vaca. Mama hasn't had a chance to put stuff away yet, besides if it was in your room you wouldn't be able to find it."

"It's just so freaking cold! Why does it have to be FREEZING!? Mama, I'm so disappointed in you right now."

(me to Charles) "I suppose I ought to go get the charger so he can calm down."

(Charles to me) "Actually, hang on, this is getting pretty funny."

Several mutterings later I relented and got little man his charging cable. Handing it to him he looked at me with an expression of pure admonishment. "Just disappointed, Mama. Disappointed."

He turned and puttered off to his room muttering under his breath "I just don't know how I'm going to get through to them... "

(In my defense, our bedroom was 78 degrees and it was 86 outside.)

Ant Farms

"Mama?"

"Yes Yon?"

"Did you know that Ant Farms are called that because they are made of ants and they harvest baby ants."

"I did not know that."

"Well, you know what they say, you learn something new everyday. Guess that was your something new, huh?"

"I would say you were right about that."

The Pilot

During our recent road trip where we explored Mount Rushmore and the surrounding areas of South Dakota, we stayed in a little town that prided itself on having an 'olde fashioned train' and historic railroad museum.

To promote their 'Historic Wildlife Tours' and the museum, they placed a refurbished shiny black and red accented steam engine on the corner of the property where it couldn't be missed by cars and pedestrians passing by.

Having passed by it several times during our stay, after one particularly busy day at dinner JB asked Charles "Daddy what is that big red thing on the front of the train engine for?"

"It shoves rotting cattle off the tracks."

"Charles, that's disgusting." I commented.

"Well, it's true, it's called a 'cow catcher'." he replied.

"Yes, but it presses live ones off the tracks too."

Then we noticed the minyons. JB, who'd asked the question in the first place, had stopped eating her hamburger mid-bite and her eyes and mouth were wide open in horror.

BW though, kept eating away, appearing to be deep in thought.

Setting his burger onto his plate, he raised a pointed finger and said ponderously "It makes sense. They could keep going along the tracks and blast away anything that blocked their path.

"But the train would probably need a shower after that."

He then picked up his burger and took another bite as we looked on with eyes wide open. JB never did finish her dinner.

BackSeat Files #492

From the BackSeat Files...

While driving home from our travels to South Dakota, amidst the standard chattering of JB and BW, there was a pause then an irritated JB voiced...

"Did you just fart?"

"Ummm... yeah."

"Peee-Yeewww dude. That's gross."

A pause, then peels of laughter.

Monument Farewell

When we'd explored Mount Rushmore to our hearts content (and the minyon's boredom level) we piled into the car and went off to our next adventure - exploring the Jewel Caves.

Charles, pointing out that we were driving along the 'backside' of the mountain and suggested that we all say 'goodbye' to the monument.

Yon, taking the suggestion to heart and voiced "Goodbye to some weird guy with glasses... another guy I don't remember or recognize... and Abraham and Washington."

"Did he say Abraham?"

"Yes" Replied Charles

"Like he was a personal friend or something?"

"Yup... I feel bad for Jefferson though. He's never remembered or recognized."

"Yes, but at least he wasn't 'the weird guy.'"

The Rush of It All

"Mama..."

"Yes Yon?"

"The cracks on Washington's face look like boogers."

"Alrighty."

We came, we saw. The cracks look like boogers.

Let's call this roadtrip a success.

MinYons

This summer we took our first family road trip. We spent seven hours driving from River City to Hill City, South Dakota in our little car giving us several hours upon which to 'bond'.

After several hours on the road JB asked from the back seat if she could change her name. Asking why, she said that she wanted to be Min, and BW could be Yon - "Because together we would be your minions."

After a long sporadic conversation spread out over several miles and hours of time it sounded perfectly BW and JB. So, per their request, they are now Min (formerly JB) and Yon (Formerly BW).

They will always and forever be my JB and BW, and I may at times revert to referring to them as that... but for the moment, they are Min and Yon. Continual and driving characters in Crazytown.


* Update: after going by the name Yon for several weeks, BW requested that his name once again return to 'BW' since that felt 'smoother'.

** Update II: Min has requested that she go by JB again - so that BW can't call her Minny, as in Minny Mouse.

Old Hamster

In keeping with every other family Roadtrip, we played the 'license plate game'.

While preparing for our tip, Charles found a sticker book form of the game, and ordered a copy for each child, thinking that they would have fun keeping track of the plates.

Everyone had a blast looking for and calling out the different plates we found as we drove along.

Charles pointed out a New Hampshire plate.

"Wow" the kids replied.

"You know what JB?"

"What?"

"You know what the most popular pet is in New Hampshire?"

"What?"

"A Hamster. They made a mistake on that license plate. It's actually New Hamster."

"It makes you wonder where Old Hamster is, doesn't it?"

Blasters!

Snippets from a lego conversation...

"This is SO COOL! It has 4 BLASTERS!"

"Where is Mile's head?"

"Blasters JB! Blasters!"

"I'm serious BW - where is Mile's head?!"

"I don't know… Really, check out these Blasters! PHeewwww BPKeeewwwppp! Booom! CRash!"

"BW, Miles can't see the blasters WITHOUT a HEAD!!"

Yeah. That kind of day. Only two months till school starts.  Whee!

Electric System

"Mama?"

"Yes BW?"

"You know how your body has an electric system?"

"Umm... "

"You know. The power station is the brain. The power lines are the nervous cords. The nerves come from the cords and the buildings are the muscles."

"And the blood is the energy." threw in JB.

"No JB! The can't be blood in the nervous system! Blood is more like the sewers or something like that. You can't mix them!"

"If you do mix them, is that when you have poopy energy? And you need coffee like Mama?" she giggled.

The laughter from the back seat was nearly deafening.

Coffee, indeed.

All Access

Dinner is our usual time that as a family we recap the day's events and prepare for the next. Nearing the end of the kids school year, this ritual was all the more important as once school ended, there were no more days to get 'caught up'.

Over the din of BW and JB's conversation I asked Charles about some numbers that I'd seen around the house few times over the last several days.

"Oh, those are access codes that I need for work, but I've used them so many times that I've got them memorized. You can delete them."

"Alright then...Um, Charles?"

"Yes?"

"How do you delete numbers off of paper?"