Writer's Block

Writers block sucks. Especially the kind I've been struggling with these last several months... hell, make it a year, or even two.

Unlike streaks of writers block that I suffered in school (both back in the day and recently), there was no assigned paper, no sensation that one late night was all I needed to pound out the 10-page record of all that I'd researched and learned over the prior 15 weeks.

No. Not this time.

This has been a more insidious form of writer's block, involving moments where my soul cries out to feel the scratch of the pencil on paper, to hear the clicking of keys as I memorialize my thoughts in the digital space. Yet, my mind resisted. With each attempt to share with the world the one word that ended the potential and promise of what was to be a vastly rewarding 3rd career, my words faltered.

This post is a good example - it's taken me nearly 3 weeks to complete. An unwavering emotional dam resulted from the subconscious knowledge that once the words began to flow, so would the tears. Tears that have been trying to release themselves from my soul in an unending stream.

Thankfully, time heals. Mostly.

Time, a lot of water, and a multitude of lifestyle changes. No more tomatoes, eggplants, tomatillos, or peppers of any kind, and certainly no 'red' or pepper based spices. Diet Coke is off limits as are artificial flavorings of any kind. Eating out is an adventure in finding food I can enjoy without completely pissing off the waitstaff. (Hint: It takes 3 questions about food ingredients before the manager makes a visit to the table.)

The one word diagnosis that brought all of this into my world?

Fibromyalgia. Fibro for short.

Yup.

Tears have been shed, emotional landslides buttressed, and a healthy outlook attained. In truth, I haven’t been as healthy or happy as I am today in a very long time. Fingers crossed that things continue to move in that direction, fibro or not.

x