As has become habit when my daughter was born, I woke this morning at 4am. Typically when this happens it takes only a few minutes of reading and I'll be tired once again and ready to sleep for a few more hours.
This morning though, sleep is not forthcoming. Project Purpose is officially underway, and so many thoughts are racing through my head. Am I going to make it? Have I set realistic goals for myself? How am I going to fit this into my already busy schedule once CSU starts and I'm back at work with a longer and more demanding day? So many questions and only time will provide the answers.
I met with my trainer Michelle yesterday for the first time. I was so nervous! I've never had a trainer so I didn't know what to expect - but I've heard friends talk about one's they've had and all I wanted was to make it through the session alive. And I did. (Yay!)
Granted, after warming up on AMT machine that I'd not used before, I nearly fell over when I got off of it my legs were so weak.
After 30 minutes of tossing and turning without the benefit of sleep, I finally decided to get up and start my day. The strength training I did under Michelle's guidance yesterday is catching up with me and getting out of bed was a challenge - my muscles protesting yesterday’s demands.
In spite of an early morning, a half-caff cuppa coffee (this is a new change for me - usually it's a full caffeinated beverage and plenty of it!), and a long day filled with activities, writing and work, I've made it through the day without the fatigue I've come to expect. Already I've started seeing the benefits of exercise and better eating - and we are only a couple of weeks into the six-months that Project Purpose runs.
It's a gift to have this opportunity and I'm thankful for every moment that I am able to participate in it.
The 'Mommy Years' have been a challenge to leave behind - but with the support Karl, our kids, friends, and the Project Purpose team - House of Chaos will realistically remain an organized chaos, but with greater opportunities for fun and enjoyment of a full and active life.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Step By Step
Project Purpose had about 35 teams apply for it and of those only two teams were selected. When I submitted our application, I honestly thought that there was not a chance in the world that we would be one of the two teams.
I've known that I've needed to regain a healthier state these last several years. I've had the interest and the motivation but what held me back was a lack of security in knowing what I was doing at the gym and the flexibility in my schedule to allow me to exercise for what is really an hour and a half once a day, five days a week. That lack of confidence, inability to find time in my schedule, and the fear of not having a trainer and the lack of finances for one is what has held me back.
As part of Project Purpose, Karl and I will be working individually with a trainer for 30 minutes a week and a nutritionist once a month for 30 minutes. As a team, we will work with a wellness coach once a month for 30 minutes to work on our goals - once they are set.
All the other hours at the gym, working on diets, and getting the wellness back in addition to any equipment we need to purchase has to be done on our own, by us.
Not everyone has the disposable income for a trainer and not every person needs a trainer. But everyone does need to move.
For me, the single most important piece of equipment is a good heart rate monitor that blue-tooth connects to my phone. It is integral to making sure that when I exercise I'm working hard enough to see results, to feel better and to be able to sleep at night. The free app 'My Fitness Pal' which keeps track of my food diary, work outs and weights completes the bundle allowing me to see those stretches where I'm having success and those where I need to hit the gym.
Before we had kids I used to hit the gym several days a week. I felt good, enjoyed jogging and for the most part, slept soundly. Other than my shoes and my gym membership I had a heart rate monitor - and that was acquired only after I became pregnant with theb'OY and needed to keep my heart rate below a certain number for the baby's health.
That was how I learned the value of the HRM and it was the first tool that I purchased even before I'd heard about P2.
That's my most important tool... And I know that everyone has their own. Lately when I meet people, and the topic of activity comes up, that is my go to question - "What is your most essential piece of work out or exercise equipment?" Some of the answers are a surprise. Which of course, leads to more conversation and even the potential for a coffee buddy.
So, for you gentle reader - I ask, "What is your most essential piece of work out or exercise equipment?"
I've known that I've needed to regain a healthier state these last several years. I've had the interest and the motivation but what held me back was a lack of security in knowing what I was doing at the gym and the flexibility in my schedule to allow me to exercise for what is really an hour and a half once a day, five days a week. That lack of confidence, inability to find time in my schedule, and the fear of not having a trainer and the lack of finances for one is what has held me back.
As part of Project Purpose, Karl and I will be working individually with a trainer for 30 minutes a week and a nutritionist once a month for 30 minutes. As a team, we will work with a wellness coach once a month for 30 minutes to work on our goals - once they are set.
All the other hours at the gym, working on diets, and getting the wellness back in addition to any equipment we need to purchase has to be done on our own, by us.
Not everyone has the disposable income for a trainer and not every person needs a trainer. But everyone does need to move.
For me, the single most important piece of equipment is a good heart rate monitor that blue-tooth connects to my phone. It is integral to making sure that when I exercise I'm working hard enough to see results, to feel better and to be able to sleep at night. The free app 'My Fitness Pal' which keeps track of my food diary, work outs and weights completes the bundle allowing me to see those stretches where I'm having success and those where I need to hit the gym.
Before we had kids I used to hit the gym several days a week. I felt good, enjoyed jogging and for the most part, slept soundly. Other than my shoes and my gym membership I had a heart rate monitor - and that was acquired only after I became pregnant with theb'OY and needed to keep my heart rate below a certain number for the baby's health.
That was how I learned the value of the HRM and it was the first tool that I purchased even before I'd heard about P2.
That's my most important tool... And I know that everyone has their own. Lately when I meet people, and the topic of activity comes up, that is my go to question - "What is your most essential piece of work out or exercise equipment?" Some of the answers are a surprise. Which of course, leads to more conversation and even the potential for a coffee buddy.
So, for you gentle reader - I ask, "What is your most essential piece of work out or exercise equipment?"
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
It's HERE!
It's Here! It's Here! It's Here!
And, wow. It's for real. For the next six months we are revamping our exercise and eating habits, attempting to regain a balance between the expectations and obligations of work and home and making a point of taking time to have fun - both as a couple, and as a family.
Sqweee! Here it is! You should be able to click on the images and have a larger, readable size image. If not, leave a comment and I'll wrangle with it until it is.
Here's the issue cover introducing Project Purpose...
The intro to Project Purpose... (and Alicia the editor and lead of the team!)
And here it is!
That's Us!
It's nerve racking to share personal stats and hope that all the changes that we will be making will 'pay off'. The vulnerability of sharing such personal information is balanced by the gift of growing stronger and having a team of professionals lead the way.
We are incredibly thankful for this opportunity! It's come along at a perfect time for both K and I, (primarily me) where I'm not working within a rigid schedule so I'm able to include a lot of the changes in our habits and actually create habits before the stress of CSU's and the Kids school and activity schedules come into play.
Keep up with us as we share what we've learned, what worked for us and what didn't and how we are going to keep on truckin' once Project Purpose comes to a close at the end of the year.
And, wow. It's for real. For the next six months we are revamping our exercise and eating habits, attempting to regain a balance between the expectations and obligations of work and home and making a point of taking time to have fun - both as a couple, and as a family.
Sqweee! Here it is! You should be able to click on the images and have a larger, readable size image. If not, leave a comment and I'll wrangle with it until it is.
Here's the issue cover introducing Project Purpose...
The intro to Project Purpose... (and Alicia the editor and lead of the team!)
And here it is!
It's nerve racking to share personal stats and hope that all the changes that we will be making will 'pay off'. The vulnerability of sharing such personal information is balanced by the gift of growing stronger and having a team of professionals lead the way.
We are incredibly thankful for this opportunity! It's come along at a perfect time for both K and I, (primarily me) where I'm not working within a rigid schedule so I'm able to include a lot of the changes in our habits and actually create habits before the stress of CSU's and the Kids school and activity schedules come into play.
Keep up with us as we share what we've learned, what worked for us and what didn't and how we are going to keep on truckin' once Project Purpose comes to a close at the end of the year.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Anticipation
After we received the announcement that we'd been awarded one of the two team placements for the Mind + Body / Miramont Lifestyle Project Purpose (or P2) - life took on a new form of chaos.
When we had to pick out names for each kiddo, we thought that was tough. Really, we had no idea. Then we only had to choose a name for either a girl or boy, and we had several months to do it.
For P2, we had only three days we had to pick out one name that met all of our criteria - and there were no do-overs like middle names. We decided that our team name had to
Not only did we have to come up with a team name but we also had to decide what to wear in the team photo, meet with a trainer and find our initial measurements and assessments and also maintain our usually chaotic schedule.
While chatting the night before we were to meet with Alicia, Mind + Body's Editor, I sighed deeply and asked K if our schedule could be any more chaotic.
"Nope. I like that as a name though."
And thusly our team had a name: 'House of Chaos'. It's an organized chaos, but chaos nonetheless.
In January K started working out with a trainer and going to the gym on a regular basis. Add to that two full time jobs, two active kids, Cub Scouts, taekwondo, ballet, Girl Scouts, volunteering and an active social life balanced with a houseful of activities, chores, and pets - well, there isn't a lot of time in my schedule for things like exercise.
But we are by no means unique. There are, in fact, lots of houses of chaos that in their own way make it through the day.
It's one of the commonalities that many of my friends and I share - that the days are marked not by how bored we were, but instead by how much remains on our ToDo lists even as we are collapsing into bed and feeling the rush of being behind in what needs to be accomplished the next day while the release of sleep hasn't even begun.
After that first flurry of activity the waiting began. Anticipation built. Nervous energies and second-guessing about what we were embarking on began to grow.
Unlike any other opportunity I've undertaken I mentioned this one to few people - I was too scared that it wasn't real, that M+B would chose to go with a different team and I didn't want to experience that disappointment or the need to explain why we weren't participating in P2.
It's taking forever for July 11th, the day the publication is to be released to arrive. As the day draws near - I've come to the realization that this is going to HURT if I don't get out and move before we met with the trainer. After a few panic attacks, I gathered what 'gear' I had and booked it to the gym waving 'Later' to K and kids for what was to be the first step towards a new path.
Oh, Baby.
What am I in for?
When we had to pick out names for each kiddo, we thought that was tough. Really, we had no idea. Then we only had to choose a name for either a girl or boy, and we had several months to do it.
For P2, we had only three days we had to pick out one name that met all of our criteria - and there were no do-overs like middle names. We decided that our team name had to
- Be true to the character of who we are have been, and want to be.
- Be clever, catchy and descriptive without being embarrassing either personally or professionally.
- Be timeless both in duration and frequency of use.
- Be uniquely common.
- And lastly, it needed to look good in print, on the 'net and in other published formats.
Not only did we have to come up with a team name but we also had to decide what to wear in the team photo, meet with a trainer and find our initial measurements and assessments and also maintain our usually chaotic schedule.
While chatting the night before we were to meet with Alicia, Mind + Body's Editor, I sighed deeply and asked K if our schedule could be any more chaotic.
"Nope. I like that as a name though."
And thusly our team had a name: 'House of Chaos'. It's an organized chaos, but chaos nonetheless.
In January K started working out with a trainer and going to the gym on a regular basis. Add to that two full time jobs, two active kids, Cub Scouts, taekwondo, ballet, Girl Scouts, volunteering and an active social life balanced with a houseful of activities, chores, and pets - well, there isn't a lot of time in my schedule for things like exercise.
But we are by no means unique. There are, in fact, lots of houses of chaos that in their own way make it through the day.
It's one of the commonalities that many of my friends and I share - that the days are marked not by how bored we were, but instead by how much remains on our ToDo lists even as we are collapsing into bed and feeling the rush of being behind in what needs to be accomplished the next day while the release of sleep hasn't even begun.
After that first flurry of activity the waiting began. Anticipation built. Nervous energies and second-guessing about what we were embarking on began to grow.
Unlike any other opportunity I've undertaken I mentioned this one to few people - I was too scared that it wasn't real, that M+B would chose to go with a different team and I didn't want to experience that disappointment or the need to explain why we weren't participating in P2.
It's taking forever for July 11th, the day the publication is to be released to arrive. As the day draws near - I've come to the realization that this is going to HURT if I don't get out and move before we met with the trainer. After a few panic attacks, I gathered what 'gear' I had and booked it to the gym waving 'Later' to K and kids for what was to be the first step towards a new path.
Oh, Baby.
What am I in for?
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
All Kinds of Berries
Our little town had some excitement today. A black bear cub was found wandering about in one of the neighborhoods about one of our schools. Charles, already at work, suggested that 'It wasn't too far away - why not go see what all the fuss was about?'
Needing a break away from the summer doldrums, we took his advice and tooled about looking to see if we could find the source of excitement. But, fortunately or not we didn't. After stopping off at a little deli and picking up something for lunch we began the drive home.
In the back seat JB began prattling along about all sorts of topics and settled on when people talk about berries.
"All they talk about are raspberries, cherries, strawberries, and blackberries. They always forget about two important ones; huckleberries and cranberries."
"And dingle-berries, can't forget about those." BW quietly added.
I belly-laughed, grateful that I hadn't begun drinking from my soda, JB regarded the boy with shock her mouth making a perfect 'O', and he continued to look out the window only smiling now; he'd finally gotten the girl to stop chattering for a moment.
Dingle-berries... Indeed.
Needing a break away from the summer doldrums, we took his advice and tooled about looking to see if we could find the source of excitement. But, fortunately or not we didn't. After stopping off at a little deli and picking up something for lunch we began the drive home.
In the back seat JB began prattling along about all sorts of topics and settled on when people talk about berries.
"All they talk about are raspberries, cherries, strawberries, and blackberries. They always forget about two important ones; huckleberries and cranberries."
"And dingle-berries, can't forget about those." BW quietly added.
I belly-laughed, grateful that I hadn't begun drinking from my soda, JB regarded the boy with shock her mouth making a perfect 'O', and he continued to look out the window only smiling now; he'd finally gotten the girl to stop chattering for a moment.
Dingle-berries... Indeed.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
The Invitation
When the email came through, I had two simultaneously competing thoughts "Oh my Dog. This can't be real - SQWEEE!" and "Holy COW - what the hell have I gotten myself into?"
The first I'd heard of Project Purpose was in an email that came through my email on May 30th. The subject line professed
Like most people with an active email address, spam arrives on occasion professing that the life changing solution to all of my problems or what ails me lies within - read all about it!
I very nearly marked the email as spam and went about my day. What stopped me was that the sender was the Fort Collins Coloradoan. What most saw when they opened the email was this:
What I saw was this:
Going against every learned 'rule' about unsolicited emails that offer what seems too good to be true, I clicked on the link to apply and found the survey intriguing and thought provoking. When asked, Husband said that he thought sounded very interesting and to go for it. So, I started filling out the application.
My responses to the survey questions seemed to flow without hesitation and before I had a second thought, I hit the 'Send' button. (Stay tuned for another post on those.)
And then I read what I'd written. The truth of it all. That while I'd like to think that I'm in relatively good health, I am not. I haven't been in many years.
I am driven, focused, and strive to always do 'better'. Better than I did last time, better than anyone asked for, better than even I thought possible. My interests are vast, my enthusiasm limitless, and my desire for 'one more minute' overwhelming at times.
But all of that has come at a cost to myself. I'm a mama. In the time since earning that title, I've had to chose between sleep and exercise. Sleep won out and over the years and I've lost my fitness. Healthy eating habits were often sacrificed due to financial or time constraints.
Even though it's summer I'm still busy with the kiddos, work, volunteering and living life at a more relaxed pace so I'd forgotten about the application and figured that since we'd not heard from Mind + Body, that we hadn't been selected. But, sixteen days after hitting that button we got the news that Holy COW! The team of Karl and Amy was selected to participate in Project Purpose!
It's been a whirlwind of excitement and activity, and I am still in disbelief that we are embarking on this fabulous journey! I'm filled with nervous energy and disbelief that this is for real, and downright terrified that I'm sharing so much personal information in print and on the net. I mean, who really wants to share with the world how much they weigh and all other stats. Gack!
I'm looking forward to deciding on a team name, seeing how our team picture turns out and read the first installment of our Project Purpose. I hope that you join us as we move through this adventure and strive to reach our goals!
The first I'd heard of Project Purpose was in an email that came through my email on May 30th. The subject line professed
"Change your lifestyle! Apply today for Project Purpose."
Like most people with an active email address, spam arrives on occasion professing that the life changing solution to all of my problems or what ails me lies within - read all about it!
I very nearly marked the email as spam and went about my day. What stopped me was that the sender was the Fort Collins Coloradoan. What most saw when they opened the email was this:
What I saw was this:
Going against every learned 'rule' about unsolicited emails that offer what seems too good to be true, I clicked on the link to apply and found the survey intriguing and thought provoking. When asked, Husband said that he thought sounded very interesting and to go for it. So, I started filling out the application.
My responses to the survey questions seemed to flow without hesitation and before I had a second thought, I hit the 'Send' button. (Stay tuned for another post on those.)
And then I read what I'd written. The truth of it all. That while I'd like to think that I'm in relatively good health, I am not. I haven't been in many years.
I am driven, focused, and strive to always do 'better'. Better than I did last time, better than anyone asked for, better than even I thought possible. My interests are vast, my enthusiasm limitless, and my desire for 'one more minute' overwhelming at times.
But all of that has come at a cost to myself. I'm a mama. In the time since earning that title, I've had to chose between sleep and exercise. Sleep won out and over the years and I've lost my fitness. Healthy eating habits were often sacrificed due to financial or time constraints.
Even though it's summer I'm still busy with the kiddos, work, volunteering and living life at a more relaxed pace so I'd forgotten about the application and figured that since we'd not heard from Mind + Body, that we hadn't been selected. But, sixteen days after hitting that button we got the news that Holy COW! The team of Karl and Amy was selected to participate in Project Purpose!
It's been a whirlwind of excitement and activity, and I am still in disbelief that we are embarking on this fabulous journey! I'm filled with nervous energy and disbelief that this is for real, and downright terrified that I'm sharing so much personal information in print and on the net. I mean, who really wants to share with the world how much they weigh and all other stats. Gack!
I'm looking forward to deciding on a team name, seeing how our team picture turns out and read the first installment of our Project Purpose. I hope that you join us as we move through this adventure and strive to reach our goals!
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Context is Everything
"I was so frustrated, I just wanted to grab their balls and squeeze them until they popped!"
At work there is a list called 'Things Overheard during Finals Week'. It was started by one of our department counselors who has a most uncanny knack for walking into a room where a single sentence, taken out of context, can mean a something entirely different than what was intended. The list, while easily overlooked is quite funny and has grown to be quite long.
The first line of this entry is one such example of something that could be found on the 'overheard' list. I was talking about the kids playing in the house with those irritating bouncy balls that nearly every grocery or discount store has in those giant cages that inexplicably draws your kid to them resulting in an ear piercing and insanity inducing 'BbbbuuuuT ma-MAAAAA PLEEEEEeeeeeeeeezzzzzeeeee....' as they beg for the one in the VERY MIDDLE until you are finally worn down or no longer want to be subjected to the piercingly judgmental glares of passing strangers as they respond to your 'precious' offspring howling for the millionth time.
Their bouncy ball games have resulted in overturned glasses of water, knocked over plants, swinging chandeliers, and one very sentimental and expensive rice paper watercolor being very nearly shucked from the wall. The one that I bartered for and then carried in my lap all over China, stored in here-and-there living situations for 20 years and finally was able to collect enough pennies to have it framed.
And then the kids began playing sports in the house.
I was not (and am not) impressed by their athletic abilities in this situation.
Whenever I post an entry, it takes me forever to edit, update, and ensure that the entirety of the story's context can be found within the post to alleviate confusion or possible misunderstandings.
There have been many occasions on FaceBook or other 'on the fly' social media where my posts have resulted in harsh responses by those who don't know me well, or read an entry thru the filter of their own lives and don't see the subtle wry humor that I'm prone to. I'm trying to break that habit of over writing my blog posts and adopt more of a well written, but in-the-moment form. I need to write, I need to create, and over-editing stifles that.
Please gentle reader - if you happen to read something that gives you pause or causes you to 'see red' and drives you to respond - I invite you to compose and post a comment. Lets start a conversation - but I also ask that you 'step back' for a moment and see if it's there is context that might be missing - maybe you don't know me well, we don't share the same type of humor, or your life's story brings an entirely different context to the one you are reading.
As for the kids' balls, time solved my problem.
That and a firm "I really Love that you are having so much fun with your balls, but those need to be played with OUTSIDE, please do so."
One popped when it was thrown against the sharp edge of a cottonwood trunk, the other when a child jumped on it in a demonstration of how 'look mom, it won't pop!'
And when it did, I comforted said child. Kissed his boo-boos and wiped away tears as we chatted about the poor ball.
Inside though, I did a virtual arm-pump and silently mouthed 'YES!'
At work there is a list called 'Things Overheard during Finals Week'. It was started by one of our department counselors who has a most uncanny knack for walking into a room where a single sentence, taken out of context, can mean a something entirely different than what was intended. The list, while easily overlooked is quite funny and has grown to be quite long.
The first line of this entry is one such example of something that could be found on the 'overheard' list. I was talking about the kids playing in the house with those irritating bouncy balls that nearly every grocery or discount store has in those giant cages that inexplicably draws your kid to them resulting in an ear piercing and insanity inducing 'BbbbuuuuT ma-MAAAAA PLEEEEEeeeeeeeeezzzzzeeeee....' as they beg for the one in the VERY MIDDLE until you are finally worn down or no longer want to be subjected to the piercingly judgmental glares of passing strangers as they respond to your 'precious' offspring howling for the millionth time.
Their bouncy ball games have resulted in overturned glasses of water, knocked over plants, swinging chandeliers, and one very sentimental and expensive rice paper watercolor being very nearly shucked from the wall. The one that I bartered for and then carried in my lap all over China, stored in here-and-there living situations for 20 years and finally was able to collect enough pennies to have it framed.
And then the kids began playing sports in the house.
I was not (and am not) impressed by their athletic abilities in this situation.
Whenever I post an entry, it takes me forever to edit, update, and ensure that the entirety of the story's context can be found within the post to alleviate confusion or possible misunderstandings.
There have been many occasions on FaceBook or other 'on the fly' social media where my posts have resulted in harsh responses by those who don't know me well, or read an entry thru the filter of their own lives and don't see the subtle wry humor that I'm prone to. I'm trying to break that habit of over writing my blog posts and adopt more of a well written, but in-the-moment form. I need to write, I need to create, and over-editing stifles that.
Please gentle reader - if you happen to read something that gives you pause or causes you to 'see red' and drives you to respond - I invite you to compose and post a comment. Lets start a conversation - but I also ask that you 'step back' for a moment and see if it's there is context that might be missing - maybe you don't know me well, we don't share the same type of humor, or your life's story brings an entirely different context to the one you are reading.
As for the kids' balls, time solved my problem.
That and a firm "I really Love that you are having so much fun with your balls, but those need to be played with OUTSIDE, please do so."
One popped when it was thrown against the sharp edge of a cottonwood trunk, the other when a child jumped on it in a demonstration of how 'look mom, it won't pop!'
And when it did, I comforted said child. Kissed his boo-boos and wiped away tears as we chatted about the poor ball.
Inside though, I did a virtual arm-pump and silently mouthed 'YES!'
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