Lost in a Field

It's the Christmas holiday season, and the airwaves are filled with one commercial after another. After hearing the dialog for Amazon's Kindle Fire, BW piped up "Yup, he's married."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It sounds like he has a wife who can tell him what to do."

"How can you tell?"

"Because without one, he'd be in a field, wandering around lost."

Thanksgivings

Looking down at the metrics screen for the Adaptive Motion Trainer or AMT, the frustration I’ve been fighting over my injured heel and lack of weight loss vaporized, only to be replaced by happiness.

The first time Michelle showed me the AMT I was only able to make it through 3 or 4 minutes on the lowest setting. Begging for mercy, as I stepped down and tried to walk, my legs literally collapsed under me and it took several moments before I was able to steady myself and move with ease again.

My happiness now was in recognizing that even though my weight loss has plateaued and that I have had to relax the intensity of my workouts and the type of exercising that I can do (really, I shouldn’t do ANY time on the AMT so that my heel can heal) I am now able to work out longer, harder and faster than I hoped for when Project Purpose started.

It takes several minutes for my heart to reach the target heart rate and it drops almost immediately when I back off the intensity of my workout. It can be a challenge to remind myself that my project purpose was to gain health, and fitness, and be able to sleep well again. Weight loss was never a consideration – just an added bonus.

Otto, our snuffle-puff hedgehog.

We are 19 weeks into P2 with only six or seven remaining. My Achilles heel is doing a lot better, and I have come to terms with my body’s need to slow down a bit so that it can ‘catch up’ with where I want to be.

The holiday season is definitely underway, and with it an even busier schedule. I’ve been spending more hours listening to music for ‘The Nutcracker’ as my daughter rehearses for Canyon Concert Ballet’s performances at the Rialto and Lincoln Center than I have spent at the gym. Yet, the semester is winding down and we are all looking forward to having a bit more free time when winter break arrives.

I’m so very thankful for the opportunity to be a part of Project Purpose. Thankful that I’ve been able to set aside time to move. Thankful to regain all that has been put on hold while my little ones grew old enough to have independence and the ability to care for themselves. Thankful that my little family encourages me to keep going on the days after a session with Michelle and every muscle aches. I am thankful for having such a fabulous team at The Coloradoan’s Mind + Body, at Miramont, at home, in work, and in life.

So we, Karl, Caleb, Meghan and I - along with big dog, little dog, and hedgehog wish you, Kind Reader, a very Happy Thanksgiving from our “House of Chaos” to yours.

It's HERE! Part III

This issue held a really cool surprise - I LOVE Jackie's coffee - so to find that the main story was about her and how she created a successful company was inspiring.

M+B Holiday 2014 Cover

Alicia's Intro's all around. Love this Gal!

Team Reality Bites

Team House of Chaos

One little bit of info that not many know or are aware of...

When P2 first started they told us we needed to have our photos taken in work out gear. I ran out and purchased this pair of work out/yoga pants and found that I was not able to fit in them.

Proof is in the picture - Hard work does pay off!

Words from the Experts - our team of Coaches! Thank you Kim, Brooke and Michelle!!!

Cat Lady

Well, the cricket died thankfully. I believe he may have been a victim of an equally persistent Beans. (In case you missed it - here's the story.)

Normally I'd be rejoicing at the prospect of a good nights sleep - but the same day that "chirps" as the kids so named him died, a relatively young cat in the neighborhood has decided that she likes our house, thank you very much, and she is now very vocal in her demands of food and shelter.

I first saw her as a streak in my vision - and wasn't entirely certain that I wasn't seeing things. When I saw the bag of dog food that had been dug into with teeth and claws, I was nearly certain that the black streak was indeed feline. Once you've been owned by a cat, you never forget what that sort of claw carnage looks like.

Charles saw her next confirming that I was not, in fact, seeing things.

She's taken to perching on the ledge of a window by our front door. At first she's not noticeable, but then as the house quiets and people fall asleep you can hear her faint Siamese-esk yowling. It's intensity deepens as the night grows darker or until the dogs wake from their food slumber and jar the house wake the entire house with their racket.

By the sound of our greyhound Squirt's barking, you'd think the poor cat was trying to heist gold or dog treats. Beans' sharp barks bring to mind the memory of an old 'Bugs Bunny' cartoon in which the house dog yaps at the highly anxious Sylvester - only I'm the poor 'Puddy Tat' this time around.

Somehow theb'Oy and Dot manage to sleep through the entire racket, and while Charles rustles a bit, he too sleeps through the racket.

It's no wonder why I coffee and I are fast friends.

Quiet Moments

Here at the House of Chaos, it’s not all about workouts, eating right, and taming the schedule.

Tucked in between the running and dashing, the constant clock watching, loud conversations, and laughter there are precious moments where time seems to slow and conversations drop to occasional whispers.

This past weekend had all the trademarks of a typical one; we tore out a deck to make room for a new patio, cleaned up leaves, turned over the garden in preparation for the spring, and everyone got to where they needed to go with time to spare.

But then the boy pulled out a puzzle that hadn’t been opened, commencing the start of a much-needed ‘pause’.

Squirt looks on the current puzzle we are working on.

It takes us longer to build puzzles nowadays - but that’s ok because it means that our bonding time lasts just a bit longer. It’s a tradition I grew up with, and one that my children enjoy so much so that they refer to sharing it with their own families some day.

With colder weather and holiday madness on the horizon, the soft moments are all the more important - and knowing that Caleb and Meghan are growing more independent and will soon prefer the company of friends over family - I’ll take every moment I can get.

On this transitional fall morning, I hope that you Kind Reader, are able to have a moment to breath just a bit deeper, play in the leaves and spend time with those you love.

Sag Wagon

I’ve known for a long time that I’ve needed to exercise. (Insert creepy 50’s fitness reel-to-reel of school children doing jumping jacks in unison here, with the voice narration of the deep authoritarian voice: “It is necessary to exercise at an appropriate heart rate for a minimum of 20 minutes each and every morning.”)

Doctors have told me, health instructors have told me, friends have told me, heck - even my conscious told me that I needed to get up and move. It’s not for a lack of awareness that I didn’t back away from my computer to begin the path to fitness.

In my mind I was doing all right. In working on campus at CSU, I had to race from one end of campus to the other and up or down flights of stairs on a daily basis. Through the end of last spring’s semester I’d tell myself “I haven’t passed out yet - so I must be doing fine.”

What started me on the path to fitness was a deep awareness that I could no longer participate with my kids in appreciating our great outdoors. I’d lost the confidence in my physical being, and no longer felt comfortable going on hikes, riding bikes or any of the other countless opportunities that Northern Colorado has to offer.

That awareness began with two closely timed events; the email invitation to apply to Project Purpose, and the planning of our family vaca to Mesa Verde.

When I first read the application for P2 - it was intriguing, and required a bit of introspection. Unlike most of the writing that I do, the mini-essays that I completed for the application were spontaneous, unedited, and truthfully raw. When I hit the ‘send’ button I realized just how much I hated my state of flab and decided it was time to do something differently. I never, ever expected to be selected - and it is a little known fact that when we got the email inviting us to participate I was in a state of disbelief for several weeks.

Project Purpose came on the heels of finalizing our plans for our trip to Durango and Mesa Verde. Planning that required that Karl and I ask very matter of fact questions about my fitness so that we could determine what we were going to see and visit.

Looking at the pictures of the cliff dwellings and reading about the physicality required to hike up and down the trails gave me serious pause. While I am honestly terrified of heights, it was the idea of the often-drastic elevation gains on the hikes that made me hesitate, as was the narrowed spaces that the tours require you be able to pass through. I didn’t believe that I could do any of it.

Not the hikes, the cliff dwellings, or the kivas. I’d simply fallen into a physical state of fat and unfit - and the result of that meant that I was left behind.

After being in a state of Mama for the past decade, I was not able to see my kids celebrate life in the first person. I was only able to hear about it as the excitement peaked and each tale ended with “You should have been there Mama, it was so cool!”

That was not going to happen on this trip. I pushed myself, and hard. I overcame my fear of heights by using the mantra “If they can do it, I can do it” as I climbed each and every rung of the ladders. (And yes, I did look down - how can you not!?)

We all had fun on the trip, and even I had to admit that I needed to move a heck of a lot more than I’d been saying all these years, but I wasn’t as far gone as I’d feared. 

Had we not been selected for P2 - I would still be going to the gym, but it would be a lot more of a challenge - overwhelming even and I wouldn’t have the confidence that has given me the freedom to go further than I believed I could. I’d already decided that I wanted better health and fitness so that I could choose to be the sag wagon, not have that choice made for me.

Son and Dot are both excitedly planning for a hike that we can all participate in. They’ve said that I’m doing so well, they want to see how far they can push me (“and not in a wagon, thank you very much!” says Dot.) While I’m apprehensive about what their plans entail, I know that I’m at least able to entertain their plans.

It is often a challenge to share these peeks into my world, to expose my innermost thoughts, observations and doubts. I know that I’m not alone in feeling as I do or in the struggle to make time to work-it-out.

So let our House of Chaos know kind reader - give me a shout out, a thumbs up/like or a favorite quip or quote on the topic of coffee. It is the elixir of my mornings, and a day is not complete without at least one cuppa joe. And, I know I’m not alone in that!

By Any Other Name

Had Project Purpose (P2) started at any other time of the year, I’m confident that team “House of Chaos” would have made very much progress. When we started this project in July, our schedules were less busy and the flexibility allowed me to be able to figure out what did and didn’t work for me. Over several weeks I began to regain my fitness and work through the initial aches and pains of moving again.

I’ve now developed a reliable routine that allows me to be efficient in my time at the gym. Instead of anxiously looking at the clock and fretting about all the remaining items on my ToDo list, I now focus on moving and let my mind free of the worries.

Kickin'it at the gym.

Our team couldn’t be more appropriately named. Each of our separate worlds collided last week - and we spent more time on the go than we did at home on any one-day - which was a test to our resolve, endurance, and the skills that we’ve been practicing for the last several months.

Son made it to all of his practices on time, Dot made it to all of her classes and activities, my troop of Girl Scouts successfully and excitedly ‘Flew Up’ from Brownies to Juniors, I was caught up on all of my transcribing for the students I work with, various meetings were prepared for and successfully undertaken, Karl’s deftness at juggling the proverbial ‘fires’ came into play, homework was attempted (and in many cases completed), and we made it to the gym nearly every day we were supposed to. All in all, it was a typical week, save for the Girl Scouts ceremony.

The challenge though was in the eating aspect. We fell of that wagon and with a great flourish. In celebration of her bridging, Dot picked a restaurant to celebrate, as is our tradition, and her choice did not allow for ‘healthy choices’ - even the lettuce had given up in protest. We talked about healthy alternatives, but also recognized that it was her turn to celebrate a two-year accomplishment, so we dove in and did our best to navigate the options.

By the end of the week we were out of time and energy; eating out was our survival mode. Arriving home at 8:30 pm after a series of long days with few breaks, neither Karl nor I were up to making dinner on Thursday or Friday thus making it three dinners in a row of eating out.

We regained our momentum on the weekend - and spent hours on Saturday and Sunday working in the yard preparing flower beds, the vegetable garden, and other parts of the yard for the winter. In addition to all of the yard work and eating healthily, we also made it to the gym once, and in doing so felt satisfaction in being able to emerge from old die-hard survival habits and regain our healthy ones without guilt.

This week was a true test of the skills that we’ve learned through P2.

=> When you slip and fall (and you will), don’t beat yourself up - start where you are and move on.

=> Healthy is a way of life, not a phase - take the moments you need to celebrate and do just that - but don’t make the moments a lifestyle.

=> Only YOU can do it - no one else can work-it-out, no one else can choose the healthy over the not so.

=> Health is earned only through hard work - there are no easy ways out - no five minute fixes or miracles ‘as seen on TV’.

=> The more you practice, the easier it becomes - both in mind and body.

When it came to fitness, I used to say, “I should” a lot - and truthfully I still do on occasion. But if you, kind reader, happen to find yourself in that place - then do what I’ve done. One thing at a time. One step, one skipped dessert, one healthier choice at meals. They all add up, they all make a difference.