Torn

There are days when I wonder if it was worth it. But then I shake my head clear of those doubts and realize all that I’ve learned and all that I’ve gained in my P2 Journey.

Moments of doubt are really moments of weakness and frustration with the pain in my joints, my calf and frustration in not being able to move freely.

It wasn’t tendinitis, bursitis or a pulled muscle that plagued my heel for the last several months of Project Purpose.

The x-ray of my heel showing the calcified tear
in my Achilles tendon.

It’s a tear.

A tear of my Achilles heel.

I suspect that it was brought on by pushing myself too much, too hard, too fast, and as a byproduct of aging and being overweight for so long.

P2 finished in January and in spite of my injury and an ever-changing schedule I’ve worked to continue the path of better health - both in mind and body - but it hasn’t been easy.

Some nights I would wake up with sharp pain and cramping in my lower leg, other days I wouldn’t be able to walk very easily for a couple of hours until my bones ‘warmed up’.

I made an appointment with a podiatrist and began the wait to see him.

The initial examination was a bit comical - while manipulating my ankle and heel, he located the pressure point of my injury and with it I recoiled with such pain that in lurching up and off the chair I nearly judo-kicked him in the face.

“I think we found where it hurts.”

It could have been any of the suspected injuries - tendinitis, bursitis, a tear, a stress fracture, or even a full on break - where the stress in the tendon literally tears bone away from the heel.

An X-ray and several moments provided the answers: a tear, a pretty sizable one that fortunately was small enough that surgery wasn’t required.  Instead I need to wear a specialized compression sock and a brace for the next 8 to 10 weeks… possibly 12 if things progress slowly.

My 'sock' for the next 2 or 3 months

At some point I'll begin physical therapy and begin the transition from brace and sock to nothing at all.

Walking is weird as my ankle is prevented from doing certain motions - motions that place tension on my Achilles causing further injury. Getting into the car is an adventure - as are all sorts of motions that you never realize require a bendy-joint at the end of your leg.

Working out has taken a back seat (frustratingly) until this heals. I can really only work out on the stationary bike and do weights. Michelle has been fabulous in our sessions at helping me reach the limits of my other parts - my arms are growing stronger as is my core.

As with all things in life, this is a new experience. One I’m curious to see and anxious to finish.