It's all in Where you Come From

I just found my first grey hair in what has to be the seventh time this year. I'm thinking that its proof positive that they are slowly, but surely killing me.

I can't tell them that. I used to. But then, I spent a few nights in the hospital with a kidney infection. I'll spare the details on that whole saga, but needless to say, I hope that I don't ever have to go through that again. Potassium Drips if you ever have to get them, suck. Dental surgery is a vacation compared to a PD.

It was during that "vacation" that I realized that I'd uttered the phrase "You are killing me" too often when BW and JB were driving me over the edge, just as a casual phrase or as a passing utterance. Kind of like when your little one looks at you in complete frustration and cries "I HATE you!". You know for that moment that they mean it, but they don't really. But, that week in the hospital, BW looked up at me with the widest eyes possible on a 4-year old little boy and said "I'm sorry I killed you. Can you come home soon?"

Thus the phrase Crazytown was born. Instead of "You are killing me" it's now "You are driving me to Crazytown!" That of course has been adopted by everyone. There is now food that is from Crazytown (stuff that looks disGUSTing), Crazytown Driving School, and some of the people we run across (and yes, some of them SHOULD still be in Crazytown!). You get the drift.

I'm not ready for the grey hairs that mysteriously appear overnight. Nor am I ready (at least on this day) for them to be as grown as they are. It is wonderful that they are as in tune with the world around them, they observe, they opine, they whine and of course, they are hungry. They are confident independent and eager kids who want to take on the world they live in and they speak of their thoughts and opinions without fear.

But part of me misses the smallness of the questions that they have and the fears they express. It sucks really, that you don't know whether you've been successful or not in your childrearing until it's too late and they are grown.

I know that I'll have been truly successful if they reach out to the wide world with open arms and a spirit of adventure, leaving Charles and I to once again experience the kind silence of a clean house, filled with the smell of rich food and the anticipation of a fun evening.

I just hope that I have some color to my hair... If I have any hair left. People who are from Crazytown tend to be bald, you know.