I'm sitting on the deck enjoying a few quiet (no, not Quiet) moments watching the squirrels and birds, listening to the chatter and waking up slowly with a cuppa joe and thinking. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, since the passing of my sis/dot/friend AunT. I miss her and our near daily conversations. As expected tho, I have regrets that I wasn't able to be there for her more...
I also know that I did all that I could with what I had. It lead me to the thought that it is important to put the past to rest so that the ghosts and regrets of yesterday don't haunt my today or my potential for tomorrow.
Perhaps it is appropriate that she died in the beginning of spring, so that as the season turned to spring, I could experience the overwhelming new life around me, and not forget that she is everywhere. Where ever I look, I see a memory of the two of us working together in the yard, her pushing the kids in the tire-swing, and her sitting patiently in the garden talking with me while I puttered in the dirt.
She is gone, but she isn't. Anyone who's lost a close loved one, be it by death or distance, knows the feeling.
And knowing that I'm not alone in this pain is a comfort.
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